FreePlay’s Musings

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Laziness, stupidity, and other mortal sins

Is it just me, or does it seem like everyone, EVERYWHERE, wants everything handed to them?

All the time, I’m asked stupid, repetitive questions. On my YouTube videos about PSP hacks, I must have dozens of repetitions of each question – “How do I make a Pandora battery?” “What’s an unbricker?” or even the best one of all, “What does this do?”

NEWS FLASH: THE VIDEO SHOWS YOU WHAT IT DOES. And most likely somewhere in the comments are the answers you’re looking for. You wonder why it takes so long to load the comments? It’s because idiots like you people are asking the same stupid crap over and over again! I’ve got over 500 comments on that video, mostly from people asking THE SAME THING!

Today on QJ I argued with some kid about posting a guide to “POSSIBLY” fixing a PSP with NAND defects by hex editing a NAND dump from another PSP. In the initial post he said he didn’t know if it worked or not. I, being an intelligent person and knowing this was basically an “I have no idea what I’m doing but hey, you take the risks for me and let me know how it goes” sort of thing, closed the thread and deleted his ‘guide’. He then proceeded to mouth off at me about how I should learn to read, how he and his friends really had done it, etc. Sheesh.

Does stupidity HAVE to come hand-in-hand with belligerent arrogance?

And just what in the world drives people to push the line as far as they can without TECHNICALLY breaking the law? Getting into arguments with people on IRC about what does and does not constitute copyright violation is ludicrous. If you’re so worried about whether you’re breaking the law with what you’re doing, don’t do it! Simple freaking solution!

Rant over, I’m out.

Tags: Rants by FreePlay
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Struggling for faith

I’m in another crisis of faith.

“Wait a minute, FreePlay has faith?” Yes, very funny, ha ha. I know, I argue against religious people all the time, but you’ve got to realize, I’m not arguing against God, I’m arguing against dogma. I believe in God. But the more I delve into my desire to rationalize everything, the harder it becomes for me to give myself a reason to keep believing.

I want to believe. I want there to be mystery and miracles and wonder. I feel like digging into the pettiest details of everything and explaining it away makes the world less exciting and more mundane. But I also feel like I have to do it. My mind forces me to come up with explanations for everything, but my soul aches for something I can believe in without having to give up my rational faculties.

I can’t believe blindly. I wish I had the strength of faith and will to be able to believe in something without having to analyze it logically. In some ways I admire the people I mock; at least they’ve got the courage to stand up for their convictions and believe what they believe despite people like me. Then again I can’t admire them, because they’re so often abandoning their God-given ability to reason in exchange for thoughtless obedience to doctrine and books.

What do I have to do to convince myself it’s all right to have faith?

I’ve been raised in a Christian tradition, though it has by far been a liberal version of it. Now, I don’t think there’s anything wrong with interpreting the Bible and Christian theology to fit your own needs; on the contrary, I think it’s absolutely essential, if you want to truly adopt the philosophy and the faith as your own. But I’m so tired of it. I’m tired of figuring everything out on my own. My mind is too stubborn to simply accept what someone else tells me, but the longer I keep to myself, the more I turn my examination of faith into a science rather than a journey of the soul. I’m nitpicking at the details of God rather than basking in the glory of His fullness. I can’t see the forest for the trees, and there seem to be more and more trees every time I look.

It’s becoming harder and harder for me to come up with explanations for why I believe, or what I believe. I’m really not sure what I do believe anymore. My mind’s mixed up and fighting against itself here; part of it says “go with God” and another part says “get over God.”

All I know is I want to have something to believe, and I want to have some reason to believe it.

Tags: Religion by FreePlay
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